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We asked my 8yo if she knew what "ambidextrous" meant, and as she tried to figure it out, we heard her mutter under her breath, "It's not when two girls like each other...that's lesbians."

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Guys - I fuckin hate being made to feel things - but go and watch the J&B whiskey ad about transgender acceptance - dammit I cried tiktok.com/t/ZTRq2mhr2/

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Selfie 

I just want to thank #AubreyPlaza and #DanMurphy for #TheChristmasWitch - finally, justification to bake Christmas cookies in wildly impractical Halloween costumes with dramatic sleeves.

#TransJoy #TransJoyIsReal

anti-trans rhetoric; allies; photos 

I was in a couple of nights ago when my friend Ra (she/her) bummed a cigarette off of a stranger. While they chatted, I wandered a little ways off with our party’s third.

After a few minutes, it was clear that the conversation between Ra and Mister Cigarette had become heated. I rushed over to provide Ra with support, only to find her staring down Mr. Cigarette as he unfurled an anti-trans screed—one that was disturbingly premised on prison rape analogies. 🥺

I stayed in the conversation just long enough to realize that neither rationality nor empathy had a place, and then gently guided Ra away and onto a better night.

Meanwhile, our party’s third, snapped a few photos of what being an ally can look like.

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Zoë Heller on Shirley Hazzard:
“The portrait of the permissive era that emerges from these stories is a rather somber one. Eros is less the bringer of carnal fun than a dark and rather dangerous force on which men and women (but mostly women) pin their romantic hopes at their peril. Hazzard’s female characters are not constrained by conventional sexual morality, inasmuch as they engage in premarital and extramarital sex without compunction or shame, but they evince none of the antic libertinism or experience-gathering curiosity of, say, Mary McCarthy’s women. Sex remains for them a solemn rite, a significant act of surrender, and their inability to divorce the act from higher feeling leaves them horribly vulnerable to the emotional sadism and moral carelessness of men.”

Awww. A little one stopped by my table to compliment my hair clips. Love the mini wins. 🥰

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My greatest presentation successes to date are avoiding gendered titles entirely, basking in the radioactive background noise of the “sirs” and “ma’ams” around me, while fending off only the occasional targeted “you.”.

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Hijacking one of those deepfake AIs to make a version of The Expanse but where the cute boys kiss

Arriving at at 15:00 on a weekday is my new favorite travel hack.

Absolutely empty. No lines. No waits. Just a quiet corner table at the reasonably overpriced wine bar.

Two hours later: the zoo fills.

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It is endangering to society to create an out-group that you’re going to allow people to attack for no reason whatsoever.

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Hey...

Do me a favor.

Unclench your jaw.
Take a deep breath.
Walk around and stretch.
Drink some water.
Have a snack.
Don't forget your meds!

Remember how amazing you are. You've got this. You'll be okay. I'm proud of you.

I'm so so glad you're here. <3

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CW: Sexual harassment in STEM 

Re-posting this 🐤 thread from 2018 which, sadly, is still relevant:

#WomenInSTEM who talk about #harassment and sexual misconduct get a lot of antagonistic & unhelpful replies.
@shrewshrew and I (a woman & a man in science) tried to categorize them. #9ReplyGuys

THE NINE TYPES OF REPLY GUYS 🧵

#1: THE LIFE COACH

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✨The people at Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity chose my work on the myth that 80% of trans kids ‘grow out of it’ as the lead article for their latest issue, making it available for free! Make sure to read and share!🌈

psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-80

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Okay am I really going to use this, this time around?

Kitchen Knowledge 

Brown Sugar is just sugar mixed with molasses. 😘

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So my wife took our 4 year old daughter to the mall yesterday and they came back with astronaut Barbie and later in the evening built a Lego rocket for her. A+ parenting from my wife right there 👏

If you don’t know what a popover is, or you’ve never had a good one, I weep for you. I’ve made them so many times that I don’t even need a recipe.

The same can’t be said for the cookies: the recipe my mother used came from her mother who usually sourced her recipe’s from her friends and her bridge club.

My grandmother passed earlier this year. I hadn’t spoken with her, or anyone else on that side for years. Originally, this was because of a legal battle over her estate, of which I was trustee for a time; in the final year, because I’d come out as trans, and that was a few bridges too far for their brand of 1950’s liberalism.

Thankfully, I was able to find a recipe online that lined up well with my memory of the key ingredients. I made them last night, and the results were deeply soothing.

Highly recommended.

goodlifeeats.com/recipe-exchan

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My father’s family was Jewish. If my mother’s family ever had a religion, they chose not to share it with their children. Neither of my parents were even the slightest bit religious.

Holidays at my parent’s house were crow-assembled: bits and bobs of different traditions—nothing sacred, nothing pure; nothing consistent from one year to the next.

So, when the holidays come up over the horizon, I don’t have a lot of rituals to cling to. The tidings I crave are really just two baked goods that were usually to be found in my parents’ kitchen around the end of the year:

1. chocolate gingerbread cookies (light on the ginger, heavy on the cloves);
2. popovers.

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It's cool how we can talk about being women on here without randoms popping up every few minutes to ask what a woman is :P

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myna.social

Basic models of flocking behavior are controlled by three simple rules: 1) separation: avoid crowding neighbours (short range repulsion); 2) alignment: steer towards average heading of neighbors; 3) cohesion: steer towards average position of neighbors (long range attraction). With these three simple rules, the flock moves in an extremely realistic way.