Trans Selfie; Wonderful Top
I feel like my face has been all manner of bloated, swollen, and inflamed since arriving in Chicago (lack of sleep; salty food; alcohol), but there have also been moments where I felt pretty good about how I’m presenting. Walking around Logan Square yesterday was one of them. (I really love this knit mesh buttoned top. It’s one of the few I’m comfortable wearing without also wearing jacket)
The scale in this morning’s airbnb, though …. 😂 I guess I _lived_ yesterday. 💕
Went to a queer bar for the first time on Saturday. Ended up getting pushed off the dance floor by a couple who took offense to something about my presentation. 🤷♀️ After half an hour in the corner with the trash cans, a dude spit on me; I got the hell out.
It’s ❤️ to have friends for nights like these: I ended up calling one and having a good, solid two-hour talk that kept me from tipping into a depressive fugue.
Some snaps of SF street life from my walk; it sure put things in perspective. 😕
@pauline and I, along with our friend Matt, were able to join the memorial services at Manzanar this year.
Manzanar is one of ten American concentration camps, where Japanese-Americans were held during WWII. The camp grounds are in California, near the Nevada border. At 4,000 feet, the atmosphere is thin, and the sun is blinding. Standing around, being cooked for hours on end, it was difficult not to imagine oneself on the surface of the moon: the terrain was as desolate as it was beautiful.
It’s been nine weeks since #FFS.
Depending on the day, and the swelling, I’ve looked like a dozen different people. Some of them were cute; some, I wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley; all of them: me.
I think I’m very Zoom-passable (until I open my mouth). The real-world is a very different, wildly mixed bag.
I’ll celebrate the Zoom win: that’s 95% of my presence.
Trans Selfie; Eye Contact; Cameras Lie
Cameras lie. If I have a studio light and time, I can usually coax mine to lie in my favor. Of course, the splotchy-faced, blue-bearded selfie I sent out to close friends this morning is enough to make me doubt myself when I say that. Doubt. I’ll have mine with cookies, please.
Anyway, here’s a good lie my camera told me earlier this week.
💁♀️📷
I ordered a custom-sized Star Wars costume for a birthday party thing next in LA next Thursday, but I’m starting to doubt it will arrive on time, so I ordered a backup.
I’ll wear it if I have to, but I’d much prefer something I can stack layers under: the venue’s lake adjacent; it’s going to be cold
Plus, even with tights, that’s going to be a very short hemline on 6,1” me. Like, _mini_.
🏳️⚧️ Proudly Trans
🌉 Bay Area
Product-Engineering Manager for a software product portfolio; former iOS dev; attorney (CA/IL); large-format photographer; marriage ministress; cinema nut; weeb; lifelong weird girl.
Lover of myths, legends, fairy tales, fantasies, and folklore; 6502 assembly aspirer; book hoarder; gaming nostalgist; gore-adverse, torture-adverse feminist horror film fan; food worshipper; Slack poet; ace-demi-recipro-crier; a total and complete mess.
🍶::🍷::🍺::🍹::🍸